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29 August 2013 @ 11:22 am
I'm already there - part 9  
Title: I'm already there
Author: jaejaelover33
Genre: Fluff, Drama, Romance
Length: Part 9/?
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Possible cursing
Summary: Jaejoong is seventeen, living in Japan with his parents and his eight older sisters. His grades in school are excellent and he wants to be a singer after he graduates. Yunho is his boyfriend, a tall, tan, handsome boy whom he loves with his entire heart. They are perfect for each other, the perfect couple... the only problem is that Yunho lives in an entirely different country, Korea, and they have never actually met in person.


Jaejoong's brain felt like it was going to pound it's way out of his scull. Falling asleep again felt impossible, as much as it was the only thing he was craving for. More than one lone reason was keeping him from sleeping. Was it because of his headache? Could it be the incredibly firm pillows that made Jaejoong feel like a rock would be more comfortable to sleep on? Possibly the thought of joining an all new school full of potential jerks that cared for nothing more than calling him out on every insecurity he owned? Or was it the thought of... Yunho? The man who's very name sent chills throughout his body.

He still had the rest of the weekend to think about things. Just two days to think everything through before he had to start school. Jaejoong needed to confirm that his decision of coming to a completely different country for one boy, that he undoubtedly loved, was the right choice to make at this time in his life. It was feeling more and more reckless every time that he tried to wrap his head around why he was in Korea, living with his Aunt and Uncle. And Junsu, a boy he hardly knew anymore.

What good does it do me to think about these things now, when I'm trying to sleep? You are such an idiot, Kim Jaejoong, why can't you just fall asleep? Jaejoong sighed and stretched his arm out to reach for his phone. He hadn't given it a glance since he arrived, other than to call his mother and tell her that he had made it safely. The thought of calling Yunho had crossed his mind many times already, but he couldn't bring himself to actually do it. Yunho's voice, though he never thought he'd think this way, was the last thing he felt like hearing. But he had already slept too long and felt wide awake while everybody else continued to doze. It was a peaceful silence, but it only encouraged his brain to think of all the wrong things he was trying to push out. Like calling Yunho.

It's not right to ignore him, I know. It's just... Jaejoong sighed audibly into the dark room. He felt like going for a night walk, but didn't want to run into Yunho doing the same thing by the oddest of chances. Wouldn't that be a way to first meet though? I don't even know how close he lives to Junsu. But he does know where Junsu lives, and he knows I'm here... Stop it Jaejoong! He shook his head, trying to clear it of all the pointless thoughts pitter pattering around. I need to call Yunho. Right now. He's waited long enough.

Before he could convince himself out of it the phone was to his ear, calling Yunho. It felt like years before a voice answered. Yunho sounded tired and groggy, slightly annoyed.

"Yun," Jaejoong whispered. He felt like he needed to stay quiet, even though he knew it was foolish to think that anybody else in the house could hear him talking. The guest bedroom was on the opposite side of the house. "It's me. C-Can you talk?"

Jaejoong heard Yunho yawn and then it was quiet. He wandered if that was his response.

"Aish, Jae. Why didn't you call me yesterday, when you landed?" Yunho groaned, obviously still recovering from being woken up so suddenly. "Mmm, God what time is it? Ahh, four in the morning. Baby why didn't you call me as soon as you could? I waited for you."

Jaejoong frowned and pulled the blanket up to cover his head. "I was too nervous and sleepy to call you. I was hungry too. Don't be mad please, I didn't want to ignore you, but-" Jaejoong held his breath, thoughts racing around in his head faster than he could catch up to them. His hands began to tremble with anxiety. What do I tell him? Should I tell him how unsure I am about my decision to be here? Should I tell him that I'm scared? Do I still want to meet him at all? That headache was coming back much stronger than before. "I-" Jaejoong stumbled for words. "I just feel sort of-"

Yunho's laugh sounded through the phone. A soft laugh, comforting. Jaejoong could hear the melancholy behind it though and a gloomy feeling took over the mood. "You're unsure now." Yunho spoke, breaking a momentary silence and reading Jaejoong's mind like a book. "You're having second thoughts. You feel sort of... trapped here now that you've made it all this way. You don't know.." Yunho paused, sighing quietly. "You don't know if you want to meet me anymore. A part of you thinks this was a mistake." He sounded like a robot, running over the lines of a piece of material he'd rehearsed a thousand times.

Jaejoong's voiced hitched, clearly guilty of everything that Yunho had just spouted out in a matter of seconds, but too taken aback to say so. He'd been obsessing over it all for hours, going over and over in his head trying to work it all out himself. Did Yunho really know how I was feeling all this time? Without ever speaking with me?

"You always think that I don't know you that well, Jae, but I do. I really do know you." There was another deep sigh from Yunho's end, but he didn't sound annoyed. Just.. sad. "Do you know that I love you, and I am so happy that you have been so courageous as to come all the way here, away from your home and your family and your friends just to see me. Do you know how amazing that feeling is for me. And all the while I'm happier than I've ever been in my whole life, and you are suffering, because of me." He became silent, the atmosphere dropping to below freezing. Jaejoong heard rusting from Yunho's end of the phone, and then he started to speak again, voice trembling slightly before he cleared his throat. "I feel like I'm the equivalent to a murderer for making you feel this way. Making you question your decision to come be with me because of my own selfish actions. I should have never pushed you, it was so wrong of me. You should have been able to come here because of your own choices, not mine. I jumped at any chance to see you and now I've ruined it. I never wanted you to feel this way. Not with me, or for me, or about me. I want you to just be happy and believe with your whole heart that you are doing the right thing for yourself. Not for anybody else, not ever."

"Yunho-" Jaejoong tried to interrupt.

"Let me finish, Jae." Yunho whispered. Jaejoong could hear how worked up he was getting and he smiled for Yunho holding himself back from yelling, even when Jaejoong knew he wanted to. He was trying much too hard for Jaejoong to feel deserving of a boy like him.

"You are the most amazing person that I have ever met, even if that has never been face to face I love you just the same." Yunho was pleading now it seemed, for Jaejoong to just understand what he was trying to say, for Jaejoong to just hear him. "I will always love you because of the person that you are. Distance won't ever take any of that way from how I feel about you, and neither will being right next to you, because I've already devoted my heart to you. No matter what you ever do, or say, or feel, I can't stop loving you. I promise you, Jaejoongie. I will always stay by your side even if you don't want to stay by mine."

A long silence enveloped the couple as Jaejoong's mind raced. He smiled, taking in everything that Yunho had just said. The words ran quickly through his mind on repeat and he felt happier every time they did. But that prick in the back of his mind was still there, poking, prying, pulling at his attention. These were words, not actions. Being together, chemistry, touching. Actions were the things that made relationships. Jaejoong was torn. Nothing Yunho said or did could change the fact that meeting was the only thing that could prove he was really in this relationship for good intentions.

That also brought Jaejoong back to his strong urge to run back home to his family in Japan. Every single nerve in his body was jumping up and down with overwhelming fear and anxiety. Meeting Yunho would be the most exciting, terrifying thing he would ever do, but also the best. Life permitting everything turning out the way he wanted it to of course.

Jaejoong sighed into the phone, closing his eyes and briefly picturing the first moment he would lay eyes on Yunho in flesh and blood. He knew Yunho was gorgeous, sometimes that made him more nervous. He also knew he was who he said he was, thanks to webcam. The problem was obviously himself and all of his jumbled up nerves and fears spilling over the edge at the wrong place and time. If he could get all of that under control, there was a big possibility that everything would go as planned. I can't find out by never meeting Yunho anyway. Yeah, let's think in that direction!

The older boy cleared his throat, for the first time since he'd arrived in Korea feeling like he was actually ready for all of this to happen.

"Jae?" Yunho questioned in a mutter. "Are you going to say s-"

"Yunho, you know where Junsu lives right?" His voice was clean cut and raw of emotion. He was set out to say what he had to say before the mental timer buzzed and pulled him back into the pit of "what if's".

Yunho mumbled, "Of course, why do-"

"Come over. Now. I'll be watching out the window for you." Jaejoong inhaled, breathe shaking with pressure and the regret already setting in. "If I call you back, don't answer, just come. I need you to come here, right now and force me to do this or I never will. I'm hanging up now."

"Jae, I-"

Jaejoong hung up before Yunho could finish what he was saying. He turned off his phone, determined still to not pick it up again. Even though he was already wishing he hadn't done that, and he had no idea how long it would take Yunho to get to him, and he was still in his PJ's, Jaejoong was proud of what he'd done. He had forced himself to do something he knew had to be done, whether he liked it or not. Anxiety couldn't always get the best of him.

The skinny teenager dragged himself out of the comfy warm bed and shuffled to the attached bathroom off of the guest bedroom he was staying in. The initial shock of the bright bathroom light blinded him momentarily, and when he could finally see, the face staring back at him in the mirror made him more terrified than he already was of meeting Yunho.

"I look like a zombie." Jaejoong commented out loud. Better not waste any time regretting what I've done. I have to fix all this.


Yunho jumped out of bed, so fast his feet had hardly touched the ground before he was racing to the bathroom.

I can't believe this is happening now, early in the morning when nobody else is awake. Just us, alone. I can finally see him, and touch his hands and his face.

The tan teenager forced himself to hold his composer, but all he wanted to do was scream for joy. This was the day, the moment he had been waiting for for what seemed like forever. This was actually happening and he was so determined to make it wonderful.

A quick glance in the mirror to make sure he put his clothes on the correct way in his hurry to get out the door and Yunho was gone. He was on his way to meet the boy of his dreams.

Snow was falling softly outside, every street light reflecting brightly off of the bleach white snow on the ground. Yunho was thankful for his coat that he pulled tightly around his body, and for the thick scarf he could protect his face from the cold with. He trudged through the foot deep snow down the block and he turned. Yunho's smile never faded, and as he came closer and closer to Junsu's home it got bigger and bigger. His stomach was turning upside down and his heart was beating a million miles a minute, but he was so happy. Even though bare to the chilly night air, his hands were sweating.

To just say that he was happy would be the biggest understatement. Fireworks were going off inside his brain. He felt so cold, but his stomach was on fire, and he couldn't tell if it was from his excitement or from how nervous he was feeling. Every step he took brought him closer to seeing the most precious person in the world to him.

Junsu lived only a few blocks away. Yunho had walked the route a thousand times, but he'd never once felt like it had taken him so long to get there.


Okay, take a deep breath. You look fine. No. You look great. Be positive, what could possibly go wrong? It's like webcaming with him, except that he can see the tiny bump right above your eyebrow in HD. He won't mind, you can wear a hat!

Jaejoong smiled at himself in the mirror and turned back to his suitcase to find a beanie. He pulled his grey and black striped selection over his head and pulled forward the ends of his hair that poked out in front of his ears. "There." He commented to himself as he twisted and turned to check himself out from every direction. It's better, sort of. I hope he doesn't notice that I've gained like five pounds since I've been here.

With a deep, calming inhale and exhale of breath, he made his way to the front of the house. Jaejoong walked on his tippy-toes as quietly as he could to not disturb anybody from their slumber. He ignored the thundering beating of his heart and tossing and turning in his stomach and he put on his warm black winter boots to match with his scarf. He primped himself up and decided he was ready, glancing at himself again in the mirror beside the front door. With Shaky fingers, Jaejoong swallowed hard and peered out from the blinds of the entry room front window.

His heart stopped in his chest. Yunho, pacing back and forth and kicking up snow in front of Junsu's house, was waiting for him. An unforetold smile graced Jaejoong's lips as he moved his hand down to grasp the door knob. He took in a deep breathe and twisted, a welcomed feeling of determination leading him to Yunho.


This took FOREVER. I am so sorry, I don't even know what to say. Life happened. I know you guys always think I'm going to abandon this story, but I never will so you don't have to worry! I get really behind in writing this, but I'm not ever going to leave it. I love this story too much.

I know with this part I'm leaving off with a cliffhanger, like I mostly do. I'm sorry, I said they would meet this part, but I don't exactly have it all mapped out yet to be totally honest. I want to make it the best that I possibly can, and I have to let it process for a bit longer for that to come true :) I hope you can understand and continue to be patient with me, my lovely readers :) Thank you for reading and remember to leave a comment telling me what you think so far and what you think is going to happen with they finally are face to face? :D
tahoeturquoisetahoeturquoise on May 2nd, 2014 01:45 pm (UTC)
Yay! They're about to finally be face to face in person! Need to make some popcorn and get comfy...

Looking forward to the next part!
snow_meowsnow_meow on May 2nd, 2014 03:31 pm (UTC)
I bet when they meet they would be speechless or both of them talking the same time.
I am sure both of them will be shy and excited not knowing whether to kiss or hug or both.
donuddonud on May 2nd, 2014 04:13 pm (UTC)
suddenly back with a cliffhanger chapter.. OTL

Yunho really mature for his young age..
kattan69kattan69 on May 3rd, 2014 02:01 am (UTC)
They are going to meet...finally! 🎉
jj_luverjj_luver on May 3rd, 2014 12:00 pm (UTC)
Aaaaaishhhhh adjdsgkdjsl sooooo close!!!