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22 June 2010 @ 05:03 am
[FIC] Wish - Part two  

Title: Wish 
Author: jaejaelover33 
Length: part 2/?
Genre: angst, drama
Summary: Depression, quiet, loneliness fills the house after Changmin is killed by an angry fan. How will the boys cope without their Dongsaeng? Will they lean on each other for strength to keep moving on, or deal with the heartache on their own?

Jaejoong's fingers danced across the keys of his grand piano, a soft, low melody floating about the tiny living room. He hummed along to the sad tune, his head titled back as he watched the ceiling. There were no tears left to cry, only an empty hole in his heart.

Jaejoong couldn't see the keys he was playing anymore, but his fingers flew effortlessly across them, playing Changmin's favorite song, the one he had always begged Jaejoong to play for him. Jaejoong had composed the song himself, something he had never released to the public. It wasn't something he liked very much himself, but Changmin fell in love with it. The tall boy would insist he played it often, smiling and swaying along to it despite it's sad tune.

The song was something precious to Jaejoong now, something he couldn't just let go now that Changmin wasn't around anymore to beg him to play it.

A familiar, withered voice pulled him away from his memories. His fingers paused and he looked to see Junsu sitting straight up on the couch, arms still hugging his legs to his chest. It took Jaejoong a moment to realize Junsu had spoken to him, something that had become nonexistent since Changmin had died.

After getting over the initial shock of hearing the younger mans voice, Jaejoong turned away again, only mumbling a soft grunt as acknowledgment. His fingers settled on the keys again, ready to play.

"Please don't, Hyung." Junsu whispered, his voice hoarse from not being used for so long. He sounded defeated, Jaejoong noted, grimacing.

The raven haired man twisted his body around on the piano seat, facing Junsu. "Why, Junsu? I want to play."

Junsu shook his head, burying his face into his knees again. "I don't want to hear it. Please, I don't want to think about.. I don't want to think about him sitting there next to you when I know that he isn't. He couldn't be, because-"

"Junsu," Jaejoong whispered coldly, interrupting the others plead. "Do you want to forget he was ever here?"

"No!" Junsu cried, lifting his head to stare at Jaejoong. "No, Jaejoong Hyung. I just.. right now, please don't play. I don't want to think about him anymore." Tears flooded the small mans eyes, falling onto his chubby, tinted cheeks. "I don't want to think about him being gone."

Jaejoong swallowed the lump that was beginning to form in his throat, a dry sob he needed to keep back. He rose from his seat and went to Junsu, relaxing into the cushy sofa next to his friend. "Su, I'm so sorry."

Jaejoong wrapped his arms around Junsu's shoulders and he could feel the smaller man shaking against him. "Jae-Jaejoongie," Junsu stuttered. "I want him back. I want Changminnie to come back to us so we can be a family again."

"Jaejoongie, if you're my Umma, then go make me some food. I'm hungry!" Changmin whined, pulling on Jaejoong's sleeve and a pathetic pout aided his childlike appearance.

"Aww, Minnie, you're so cute!" The eldest member pinched Changmin's cheeks lovingly, smiling when the tall boy began to complain.

"Hyung, I'm not five!"

"But I'm your mother, I have to fawn over your cuteness!" Jaejoong smirked. "Isn't that what mothers do after all?"

Changmin furrowed his eyebrows. "I don't like this idea anymore. I'm going to go make some instant ramen." And with that, Changmin left the sofa and stomped off to the kitchen to make his own meal, leaving four snickering band mates behind.

Yunho turned to Jaejoong and wrapped his arms around the smaller man. "I'm the daddy, right?"

"Mm," Jaejoong nodded, letting his head fall against Yunho's muscular chest. He smiled.

"Daddies kiss mommies, right?" Yunho whispered, ignoring the muffled chuckles from Yoochun and Junsu as they watched the mushy scene in front of them.

Jaejoong nodded again. "They sure do." And he lifted his head so Yunho could press his lips against his own. It only lasted a moment, a short, sweet moment before Changmin interrupted them, stomping back into the living with a deep frown on his lips.

Umma, I need help." He whined, holding up the ramen packet in one hand and a pan in the other.

Jaejoong rolled his eyes, pulling away from Yunho to stand up. "Oh Minnie, you're so lucky to have me in your life." Jaejoong commented.

Changmin smiled. "I love you, too, Jaejoongie~"

Jaejoong pressed his cheek against Junsu's hair. He closed his eyes. Maybe there were still tears to cry after all.

"I want him back, too."


"Yoochun-ah, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Changmin's eyes fluttered closed as tears chocked his voice and escaped from the corners of his eyes. He wished so much that he wasn't crying, he wished that he could've seen Yoochun's handsome face instead of just a blurry outline. Changmin squeezed the older mans hand in his and smiled. "I love you, Yoochunnie. Please tell them I love them, too."

"No!" Yoochun cried. "The ambulance will be here soon, I promise. Open your eyes, Minnie!"

A chorus of yells sounded from the other side of the street before the other three members came stumbling to Changmin's side. "What happened?" Came the first strangled demand from Yunho, a leader no doubt. He rested his fingers on Changmin's arm softly, then grabbed the boys wrist in an attempt to check his pulse.

"Ch-Changminnie?" Jaejoong whispered. He kneeled by Changmin's hip, his eyes glued to the crimson red that stained Changmin's shirt.

Changmin's lips parted, he let out a tiny pained breath. "I'm sorry." He murmured, so softly they hardly heard his words.

Junsu stood by Changmin's feet, watching the tall man intently. "Minnie," He spoke through sobs. "What do you have to be sorry for?"

Changmin wanted to open his eyes, to see his family for the last time, because he knew he would be gone before the ambulance ever made it to him. He opened his mouth, pushing all the strength he had left into his last words. "I love the four of you, so much more than I could have ever showed." And his lips trembled as another stream of tears fell onto the concrete beneath him.

Yoochun let his head fall into his hands, his forehead creased and eyebrows furrowed. "Sorry, Changmin? For dying?" A low, bitter chuckle sounded from man, it's noise muffled behind his palms.

He let his arms fall against his crossed legs. "You better be fucking sorry for leaving me, Shim Changmin."

Yoochun's jaw tightened, his hands fisted the comforter beneath him. He leaned his head back and opened his eyes to stare at the ceiling. "Come back to me, Minnie."

His voice was weak, pleading and desperate. "Please?"

"He can't come back, Chun. He's gone." A soft, low voice interrupted him and Yoochun turned to see Yunho standing against the door frame, arms crossed. The tall man, the tallest out of the group now, was wearing a wife beater and a pair of sweat pants, looking as if he'd just woken up despite it being so late in the afternoon.

Yoochun glared coldly at the intruder. "What the hell do you want, Yunho?"

Yunho looked a bit taken aback by his younger band members words, but the shock wore off after only a moment and he sighed. "Yoochun-ah, I miss Changmin as much as you do. I would do anything to have him back, but-"

"Stop saying that! Changmin can come back! He has to."

Yunho looked away from Yoochun, down at his pants. Yoochun had always been stubborn. Making him let go of the thought that Changmin could come back was going to be hard. "Yoochun, please stop beleiving that. It will only make things harder for you. For all of us."

"Shut up! You don't know-"

"I don't know what, Yoochun?" Yunho snapped, looking up again to meet Yoochun's glare. "What it feels like to lose somebody who meant the world to me? To wish with all your heart that you could make them come back?" Yunho paused, the air growing tense around them. Yoochun's glare had intensified, his eyes murderous.

Yunho sighed again. "I do know how that feels, Chunnie."

A stiff silence filled the room. Yunho moved against the door frame, the wood creaking beneath his weight.

"But you don't know how I feel." Yoochun fianlly spoke, his voice low. He lowered his head. "I.. Changmin and I were in a relationship. It's different."

"That doesn't mean I loved him any less."

"It know! But think about it how it would be like if this had happened to Jaejoong instead! You know it would be different."

Yunho suddenly felt a wave of sympathy for the younger man and he understood what Yoochun was saying. If it had been Jaejoong.. things would have been very different, but that didn't mean he would miss Jaejoong anymore than he missed Changmin.

Yunho moved to Yoochun's bed and he sunk down beside him. "Chunnie," He wrapped a tight arm around the mans broad shoulders, pulling him close to his chest. "This is the worst thing that could have ever possibly happened to any of us. I know it's hard, I wish I could take it all away, the pain, the sorrow, but please, just lean on us and we'll all get through this together."

Yoochun looked up at Yunho, tears were in his eyes, but he let a rare smile take his lips. "Thank you, Yunho. I love you."

Yunho smiled in return and hugged Yoochun closer. "I love you, too, Yoochun."


A/N: I haven't updated this in a little while, I'm sorry. It's a fanfic I really have to be in the mood to write (which means really, really sad). I cried twice while writing this chapter T_T How mushy of me~
Speaking of sad things, Park Yong Ha T_T That really upset me when I heard about it and I didn't even know him. For somebody so young and successful to just... Commit suicide is just.. Surprising. You have to be really depressed with your life to do something like that. It's horrible.
And when I heard he talked to Jaejoong on the phone the day before, I just couldn't stop thinking about how Jaejoong felt. It's so awful, all of it.

I'm sorry for ranting. :( Such a long authors note. Maybe I should have blogged about it T_T
Hope you enjoyed the chapter. I'll be updating When everything's wrong very soon :)
Comment and tell me what you think about this fanfic~ Like it or not? ^_^

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thepwahlovethepwahlove on June 30th, 2010 12:12 pm (UTC)
AHHH! Changminniie><
This chapter killed me>
jaejaelover33jaejaelover33 on July 5th, 2010 09:47 am (UTC)
Oh noes! *hugs*

herakleionherakleion on June 30th, 2010 11:38 pm (UTC)
I have to prepare my heart to read this chapter, the last one made me cried out loud.
jaejaelover33jaejaelover33 on July 5th, 2010 09:48 am (UTC)
I'm sorry, bb :( ilu~

Auroranericia on July 1st, 2010 08:08 pm (UTC)
You cried while writing this, I cried reading...
I love how the members comfort each other...how their relationship is strong.
oh about Park Yong Ha...I really felt sad. Especailly suicide news effects me much. how sad...
Thanks for the update ^^
jaejaelover33jaejaelover33 on July 5th, 2010 09:50 am (UTC)
T_T *huggles*
Strong relationships are wonderful~
I hate suicide news :( It always makes me think really hard about it, how can somebody be so upset.. I don't know.. T_T

You're welcome, bb~ Thank you for reading and commenting! =)

Rainyrainycakes on July 4th, 2010 05:18 am (UTC)
Omona~ I'm sitting here typing this with tears in my eyes. :( I knew this was going to happen when I read the last chapter...I was gonna be sitting here crying. I don't know if I can read on...this is gonna be one of those crying from every update kind of fics, isn't it?...ugh, but I'm gonna. I have to continue now that I've started. :( Aigoo...

Maybe I should start reading more sad ficcies...ya know, to build up a tolerance or something. lol
I think I spoiled myself on the fluffy, happy ones.

At any rate, good job. Will hesitantly wait for the next update~ ^^
jaejaelover33jaejaelover33 on July 5th, 2010 09:54 am (UTC)
I'm sorry for making you cry, bb~ :'( It is going to be sad updates for a while, but as the story develops more, some things may change :) I'm glad you're going to continue reading~

That will probably help, though I still cry at any sad fic T_T Too mushy of a person I guess.
Happy fanfics are too good to resist, though~

Thank you so much, dear! I'll try to update soon, maybe it will be less sad T_T

dilovesyunjaedilovesyunjae on July 6th, 2010 03:46 am (UTC)
winter_subakiwinter_subaki on September 8th, 2010 06:59 pm (UTC)
i hope there will be light in their lives again..
i sure minnie don't want to see his family depressed like this..
i know it's hard..but,we need to move on..
sad...i felt so sad.
i just lost my grandfather 2 days ago..
this fic is amasing..
i love it..
minnie..i love u..
we all do..