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28 September 2009 @ 07:23 pm
Beautiful sorrow - Drabble  
Title: Beautiful sorrow
Author: jaejaelover33
Pairing: YunJae
Genre: Angst
Length: Drabble
Summary: Jaejoong is upset with Yunho. Yunho always leaves.

"I love you, Jaejoong." He whispered softly to me. His voice surrounded my head, carving it's way safely into my memory.  I could still see him as his fingers came to my face. He pressed them to my cheek, and I imagined that I could feel him. If I imagined well enough I could. Just barely.

"I love you, too, Yunho."  My voice was unsteady and I couldn't stand to watch him anymore when I saw his form begin to disappear. Tears had welled up in my eyes already anyway and I couldn't bare for him to see me cry. "I love you, too."

"Don't be sad." Yunho said, almost as if it were an order. I tried to obey him, sniffling back the tears the threatened to spill over. I could control my crying, if I really tried. But my sadness for him leaving would never go away. It would never leave me alone. It was a part of me.

"But I am sad, Yunho." I told him with sorrow. "You're going to leave again. You always leave."

"But I always come back." Yunho's voice was soft and comforting, as if he were talking to a child. I couldn't help but become angry at his remark. Yes, he always came back and it was nice when he did. We would talk about the love we shared once, when he was still by my side. But it was never enough for me. I needed him, I needed all of him.

"I know you do." I whispered and I looked up at him, directly in his eyes. "But it's not like it matters. It's not like I'm even with you."

"Of course you are, Jaejoong." He said with confusion. His eyes saddened when he saw my tears. "You are with me right now."

"No I am not." I argued, though I knew it was a pointless fight. "I am never truly with you. You're not really here. You're-" My voice broke and I couldn't speak anymore. I didn't want to. I wanted to just send him off with my love and wait for his return. But I couldn't, for I could see how much he was restraining against disappearing. It was because he cared so much about how I felt, I wanted to believe. But I knew it was mostly because of his own curiosity. "You're a spirit, Yunho. You aren't real anymore."

Yunho looked down, away from my eyes. "I am real, Jaejoongie. Just because I'm not here in form doesn't mean I'm not here at all."

"Yunho," I said. Perhaps the tone my voice told him what I wanted to say, because he looked up abruptly at me. His eyes portrayed betrayal and I felt confused.

"Is this the end?" He asked and I remembered feeling as if what he was saying was a dream. I couldn't understand what he meant. "Is this the end of us then?" He asked again.

My eyes had widened and a large lump came to settle in my throat. "W-what?" I asked around it. Fright caused my heart to beat quickly, and the confusion was still etched in my mind.

Yunho began to disappear again, and my hand reached out as if it could stop him. "Wait, Yunho. Where are you going?"

He didn't answer, but he looked at me, right in the eyes and told me he loved me. Again and again until I could no longer see him. I couldn't understand what he meant still, I didn't know if he had meant he was leaving now and never coming back. That wasn't what I had meant to do. I wanted him to come back, to keep coming back, forever and ever. Until I met him once I passed on.

I waited  for a long time for Yunho. He never did come again after that. And when it finally settled in my mind that he wasn't ever going to return I cried. I cried until I couldn't anymore.
A/N: Hey, bb's. Sorry if this drabble is complete crap, the idea came to me all of the sudden and I felt compelled to write it before it left my brain. I hope it was at least a little interesting.

I don't have a lot to say, just some info about 'When everything's wrong'. It will be updated soon, I hope. I'm about half way done with chapter 15 and the rest shouldn't take very long.

Also, I wish to ask a favor of you lovely YunJae fans xD I just recently got a new spiffy, expensive journal and I have no idea what to write in it. I was thinking maybe a new fanfic or something. Help me pwease!

Anyway, Aishiteru, bb's. Comments are life!~♥  
Current Location: In a blanket
Current Mood: coldcold
Current Music: BoA - Energetic
clocktowers don't tell timetftcproductions on September 29th, 2009 01:52 am (UTC)
I cried a little. Poor Yunjae, but it was over. I mean... technically... he was dead. It was over.
jaejaelover33jaejaelover33 on September 29th, 2009 11:08 pm (UTC)
Yesh. It was very over. But still sad :[
♥ Minnie Oppa ♥: Jae!Starsidmaron on September 29th, 2009 06:38 am (UTC)
*sniffs* T___T
Just the thought about one of them dead leaving the
other behind makes me sad! D:
jaejaelover33jaejaelover33 on September 29th, 2009 11:09 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry I made you sad T_T
saerashisaerashi on September 29th, 2009 08:10 am (UTC)
i wanna cry.... poor yunjae!
jaejaelover33jaejaelover33 on September 29th, 2009 11:10 pm (UTC)
*Pats your back* I know bb D:
(Deleted comment)
jaejaelover33jaejaelover33 on September 29th, 2009 11:11 pm (UTC)
Yesh, very sad T_T