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30 August 2014 @ 01:56 am
Drabble  
Title: How long should I feel this way?
Author: jaejaelover33
Rating: PG
Pairing: YunJae
Genre: Angst
Length: Drabble
Summary: Just a little dabble I couldn't get out of my head. Jaejoong's POV.

I heard a rumor the other day, Yunho. You got caught sending flowers to somebody. Was it just a rumor, or did that really happen? I'm not mad if you gave flowers to somebody else. Don't you know me?

I haven't heard from you for a while. Actually, and I'm not sitting by the phone counting the days that pass, but it's been almost 2 weeks since I last heard your voice. I understand that you're busy, remember that I used to be there with you. We have separate careers now, and that's been... I'm still adjusting. I just didn't know it meant that we had to have separate lives.

Where are you? I texted you today, yesterday too, but you haven't texted me back. Are you that busy? I hope you're eating well, and getting sleep. Even if I can't see you in person these days, I still know if you're taking care of yourself. I'm waiting for some really recent pictures to surface on the internet, I hope a lecture isn't in your future.

Don't make me worry about you. You can do whatever you want, just make sure you keep yourself healthy, so that you can be happy too. I can be happy if you are happy. That's the way things are when you love somebody. God, I still love you. So much it makes me feel crazy waiting for you to think about me long enough to text me back. Where the hell are you, Jung Yunho?

I bet you would make the best father, have I ever told you that? A million times, right? I mean it though. Sincerely. You should get married. She has to be really pretty though. One of those girls that are beautiful, but they don't know it. That way you can spend the rest of your life proving to her just how pretty she really is. That just sounds like you, like the way your life should be.

It's a bittersweet feeling for me right now. I know that will happen for you and that makes me overjoyed. You'll live the rest of your life happy with children, a beautiful family you will love and cherish. I just wish I could be there to see it. I'd like to, a part of me really wants to see you like that. Yun, I just don't think I can stay.

Don't bother with me anymore, I'm content. This is the way that I want us to move on from the long adventure we got to share with each other. It's not being cut short, it's just run it's course and we have to move on to the next chapter. We had a really amazing chapter together, didn't we?

You, find your life. Without me.

-Your Jaejoong, with extra love.

```````
And the memories tick by, as I try to forget you.


Soft fingers on my cheek, your thumb tracing the length of my bottom lip. I can't help but smile, because right now I'm the only one in your focus. We don't have anything on our to-do lists but spend these moments together in bed all day.

Your hand is warm and I feel your breath tickling my nose. You smell like home and I want to freeze this moment in time and keep it for a rainy day. That way, if one day you're not next to me like this anymore, I won't feel so alone. I will know that at some time in my life, a simple man like me was deeply loved by an extraordinary man like you.

~

A/N: I'm sorry T.T TVXQ/JYJ has been making me feel kind of gloomy lately. This is just.. the vibe I've been getting from YunJae, and that's torturing me. I don't even know if I should post this on detox.. Aish. So heartbreaking... <3 Much love to my wonderful readers as always. Thank you for always putting up with me and my late posts <3 Take care of yourselves.
 
 
 
tapzztapzz on August 30th, 2014 08:16 am (UTC)
U R BACK...!!!!!!!!!!!!...
it was so sad...wae??????...but i liked it...:)
thns for sharing..:) <33
jaejaelover33jaejaelover33 on August 30th, 2014 08:37 am (UTC)
I'm trying to be back! xD I'm sorry it was sad, my feels have been hurt lately.

<3
abad_iniabad_ini on August 30th, 2014 11:58 am (UTC)
I was crying T.T
I really miss yunjae :(
jaejaelover33jaejaelover33 on August 31st, 2014 02:19 am (UTC)
I miss them too :(
carissajaan30 on August 30th, 2014 03:55 pm (UTC)
Aww, don't be sad about Yunjae *hugs* there are more good signs than bad ones!<3 That JJ video... he does get lonely or maybe they had a fight but I think overall things are getting better. Even JJ's lyrics have changed, a lot more hopeful, and his comments about them... yep.

As for your drabble, nooo it's sad! ;; I refuse to believe it's over (LOL) and yes JJ will never get over him. The last two paragraphs, are they memories? That deep love... it doesn't just end. *sigh* Why is Yunjae so heartbreaking?
jaejaelover33jaejaelover33 on August 31st, 2014 02:22 am (UTC)
Thank you so much for the hope! Honestly, I need it. It's become stressful almost thinking about YunJae and trying to write something positive just feels wrong or something. Aish. They are very heartbreaking!

Yesh, the last two paragraphs were memories :)
carissajaan30 on August 31st, 2014 03:51 am (UTC)
Well, they both seem so much happier this year too! ^^ So I think there are good signs. It's easier to think they are meeting occasionally, and write about their stolen moments isn't it? ;D It must be hard on them though because really they are super busy. And yeah, of course we wouldn't know if they are meeting because well LOL you know why! Oh and the lyrics for example, his song "all alone" in an interview they said it was sad, and JJ said it wasn't sad it was about wanting to see them (or something similar) plus all of the "I'm your freedom" "I'm your paradise" sounds like his lover is not free to do what he wants, which sounds like Yunho to me. Even butterfly... okay okay I'm stopping! xD There are more but I think I've said enough LOL
jaejaelover33jaejaelover33 on August 31st, 2014 04:13 am (UTC)
That's adorable <3 I love to think they are secretly meeting, I'm sure they do. Even if they were just friends, they have known each other for so long! <3 I will always keep loving YunJae <3